Volume 1: Issue 2
July 14, 2005

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The imperfect storm
The Montana Department of Commerce's new tourism campaign (see Volume 1: Issue 1) which features the slogan "Montana: The Other Maine" has generated a storm of controversy with Maine businesses and that state's Department of Commerce. The Maine DOC has assembled its own ad campaign to lure Montana tourists back to Maine.
 
Although the ads have not yet appeared, a source with close ties to the Maine DOC leaked the proposed slogan: "Maine: The Real Montana." One ad in the series will show a handsome, outdoorsy man astride a classic Old Town canoe on Maine's Moosehead Lake. The Maine Lobstermens Association also rapidly assembled a commercial campaign in retaliation. The first of the 30 second television ads is a clear slap at Montana's beef industry and features a rugged looking fisherman roping an enormous lobster under the slogan, "Lobster: The Other Red Meat."

Livingston selected for tourism award
In a press release issued this week, the Chamber of Commerce of Cotter Pin, Arkansas has chosen Livingston as "the Best Darn Destination west of Little Rock."

Mayor Billy Joe Prentiss reports that "some of the guys over at the new plastic manufacturing facility in Wynne went up there to Montana last summer and saw this Calamity Jane show. And ever since then, the whole town's on fire about loading up the RVs and going on up there."

According to some, the folks in town could use a good vacation. Ever since the cotter pin factory for which the town is named relocated all of its manufacturing to China, "folks have been pretty morose," said Prentiss.

Commissioners talk trash again
Once again garbage is the hot topic among City and County Commissioners.

Among the items discussed at this week's County Commission meeting were Tom Cruise's impending marriage to Katie Holmes, whether Joan Rivers was right in slamming  Robert Redford's facelift, and whether Britney Spears' new music video is as "dark, inspiring, and challenging" as she claims. Not to be outdone, the City Commission rehashed the doping charges against Lance Armstrong, went over whether anyone thought Cher was sexy, and spent several minutes discussing whether Tom Cruise really is gay.

Natives are restless no more
The National Forest Service bowed to pressure from Unbalanced Citizens For Trail Use this week and agreed to set aside an additional 673 miles of trails for motorized access. The revised travel plan allows for unlimited access on and off most Forest Service Trails to recreationists using HumVees, motorcycles, '57 Chevys, John Deere tractors, dirt bikes, dredging machinery, ATVs, Bradley Fighting Vehicles, tanks, locomotives, RVs, SkiDoos, and motorboats. "Allowing for the real needs of locals is what we should be doing," said an unidentified Forest Service source.

Enjoying the backcountry

Outdoor enthusiasts enjoying the backcountry in the Crazy Mountains.


Mackerel Man

Maine Department of Commerce ad (above), and still photo from Maine Lobstermens' TV ad (below).

Lobster roping ad



County in negotiations with PFL
For years Park County has needed a new jail, but all proposals have ended in failure. Now, the city and county are in negotiations with PrisonForLess.com, a Texas based firm with an innovative approach to an old problem.

PrisonForLess.com long ago recognized that many towns suffered from the not-in-my-back-yard syndrome. To capture the lucrative jail business and solve the NIMBY problem, PFL offers a fleet of trucks and buses that house prisoners for a fee. The semi truck trailers and buses are outfitted with cells, cooking and bathing facilities, and mini-towers where guards can watch over the operation whether it is on the road or parked in a community.

If Park County buys into the program, it will outsource its prisoners to one of the mobile detention units allocated to the Northern Rockies region. The prisoners themselves will be moved from town to town so that no one community has to bear the unsightly burden of a jail house.

As for the security of the mobile units, Warden Harden M. Upp said, "You ever seen a man try to leap out a window at 65 miles per hour?"


Fab Five have their eyes on Livingston
The producers and cast of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" might be coming to Livingston soon. Livingston aroused their interest when national news teams picked up the story about Christo wrapping the Absaroka Mountains (see feature story). The Fab Five, as the five fabulous makeover artists are called, are looking to expand their reach. The show has gone into a British version, and the boys are even doing makeovers in the homes and closets of straight women and gay men.

So the idea of making over large geographical features provides them with a whole new direction, and possibly a whole new audience.  Preliminary show ideas include "re-doing the entire Absaroka range." "It's so yesterday," said Carson, the show's sartorial stylist. Carson wants us to "lose all those greens and tans. Were you people born in a Pottery Barn?" In addition to giving the mountains a "casual Friday look in aubergine, mango, and mauve tones," the boys want to rename the range. If the show has its way, we'll soon be looking at The Fabsarokas.

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