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 Volume 1: Issue 7 |
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Volume 1: Issue 7 |
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| Bush administration nears agreement with
Disney on park Months of talks between the White House and The Walt Disney Company over the future of Yellowstone National Park appear to be coming to a conclusion that satisfies both parties. Disney CEO Michael Eisner, US Secretary of the Interior Gale Norton, and acting President of the United States George W. Bush put their signatures on a memorandum of terms today that would give The Disney Company ownership of Yellowstone National Park for an undisclosed sum. This move could mean millions in increased revenue for Livingston, Gardiner, West Yellowstone, and Cooke City, Montana's gateway towns to the Park. Without burdensome regulations left over from the Clinton era, more family fun in the park translates into more tourism dollars and jobs for Park County. President Bush interrupted his 14 week vacation to hold a press conference revealing the basic terms of the deal. Meeting with carefully selected representatives from key media outlets on the shore of his private bass fishing lake at his Crawford, Texas ranch, the Commander in Chief was realistic and yet upbeat. "We got a big ol' park loaded with problems like fires, pesky wildlife, nasty things erupting lord knows when, potential earthquakes, and some sort of nukular-like bubble under a huge lake. With resources needed for national security, like my wars, it's time to stop putting government money into this park," Bush said while casting for bass. "Who can bring this mess under control and bring some predictability to this thing better than the folks who brought us Disneyland and Disney World and what not?" After speaking in sentences unusually long for this president, Bush added some punch with his listing of these goals. "We can ease up on the heat about the national debt. Folks are needlessly kicking that one around. I can't say the numbers yet. Square this thing with the lawyers. Huge." And, "Disney can give this thing the right approach. More fun for the American people. Take a boring park and make it special." One unstated goal seemed clear as Bush toured the country seeking support for his radical Social Security plan: giving seniors, and those who would be affected down the road by the decimation of Social Security, something fun and entertaining to do to ease concerns about retirement.  Acting
President Bush takes a question about cheerier prospects for seniors as
he discussed his radical Social Security Plan.
Disney's Executive Vice President of Government Relations Preston Padden expressed confidence that the deal would be finalized even though the man they are negotiating with has only a tenuous grip on the White House, the English language, and reality. The deal is being struck as evidence continues to mount that the state of Ohio was won by John Kerry in the November 2004 presidential election, forcing even a Republican controlled Congress to bow to pressure to reduce George W. Bush's status to "acting President." "We here at Disney are an upbeat bunch," Padden said. "We won't let negative people spoil our E-ticket." Padden was willing to respond to questions about the close ties between the Bush re-election campaign and one of its chief fundraisers, Warren O'Dell, CEO of Diebold, the company whose electronic voting machines tallied most of the Ohio vote. Padden said, "This is just a tempest in a teacup ride with Goofy. So people know each other? It's a small world after all."
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Below: At the
conclusion
of talks in Crawford, Texas last spring, all
parties seemed very interested in the sale of
Yellowstone National Park to The Walt Disney Company. George W. Bush
shakes
Disney CEO Michael Eisner's hand while Interior Secretary Gale Norton
stands ready to receive some Golden Mouse Ears from Eisner.
 [continued from previous column] While the specific terms of the sale of Yellowstone to the House of Mouse are still under wraps, some of the planned changes have already been made public. The almost yearlong negotiations meant compromises on both sides. The Disney Company agreed to most of the suggestions from the Bush administration for renaming attractions in the park, "to make them more American and honor history as we are shaping it," said Gale Norton. Mammoth Hot Springs will be renamed Haliburton Hot Springs and will include a special "Mine the Planet" attraction. Visitors will be able to watch a full scale mining operation in action when Disney implements its changes. Old Faithful will be renamed Spout of Faithful Freedom. The Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone will be given the name Catastrophe Canyon II to give visitors a sense of excitement that is sorely lacking in a park feature with humdrum natural beauty. Bush had hoped the canyon would be named Democracy Divide with interpretive displays describing the challenges to bringing democracy to all nations, especially those who don't want it. Other changes include a far-reaching snowmobile course that would allow riders over 44 inches tall to tour all areas of the park. To keep this ride and other attractions safe from wildlife, the Park's bison, elk and wolves will be placed in a containment area that Disney refers to as Megafauna Mountain. Sometime in November, Bush will visit Yellowstone to see for himself the dollar value of the proposal. Livingston residents are hoping the President will swing through town on his way to the park. Livingston and other gateway communities are also vying for the privilege of being the town where the final signing of the park sale agreement takes place in early 2006.
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