Volume 1: Issue 8
September 15, 2005

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News shorts or briefs
(which do you prefer?)
Bush to bypass Livingston
As the White House moved ahead with plans for a presidential visit to Yellowstone National Park to assess the pending deal with the Disney Company (see Volume 1: Issue 7), it appeared ready to jettison Livingston as one of the stops Bush will make along the way.

Sources close to the White House said that Bush "preferred Jackson Hole," a destination not nearly as close to the Park as Livingston, but one "more suited to the President's desire to be in touch with the American people."

But White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan is making a different claim, citing the rise of vandalism in Livingston as a threat to presidential security. Livingston officials are not taking the snub lightly. County Commissioner Larry Larynx has challenged the president to an arm-wrestling match at the Murray Bar.

Montana declares moratorium on names for baby
After October 15, parents will no longer be allowed to give their newborns names like Bridger, Cody, Bozeman, Madison, Dakota, Montana, McLeod, Big Sky, Missouri, Cascade, Gallatin, Butte, Anaconda, and Elkhorn. Mrs. Malta Glendive Reed, head of Montana Vital Records, said that it was "time to end the madness and the confusion. How can we educate our children when elementary teachers can't call the roll without a dozen kids raising their hands on Madison or Bridger. And what kind of hippie pervert would name their kid Cascade anyway?"

Under the ban, couples like Dick and Rita Pass would have been arrested for naming their daughter Lolo as they just did in a christening ceremony on September 10. The Passes, who have just moved to the state from California, opted to have their baby early by cesarian section to get the name in ahead of the ban.

The widespread choice of Montana seems to be abating (see graph below) while Madison continues its meteoric rise in popularity, becoming the name of choice in 24 states, including Montana. While officials are relieved to see the use of the state name in decline, they are concerned about the wanton use of Madison in the state.

Montana is on the decline

There is talk in Helena of extending the ban to pets.
National news spotlight
Mission not accomplished
The recovery effort following Hurricane Katrina was supposed to help struggling American corporations with billions in no-bid awards for friends of the Bush administration, former Bush campaign operatives, and any company in which Vice President Dick Cheney maintained a significant financial interest. But somehow Norbert C. Sudbert, a small Louisiana contractor who installs valve seals for the pumps being used in the effort to bring down the flood waters in New Orleans, slipped through the cracks.

The fact that Sudbert is an African American has Republicans screaming about affirmative action bids. Sudbert was awarded $2800 to install about 150 of the valve rings, but Dick Cheney has called for an investigation into the bidding process for the ring work.

Lord of the Rings. NOT! Lord of the Rings? Norbert Sudbert, a Louisiana entrepreneur showed his gratitude and relief when he won a $2800 bid for the work of installing pump valve rings in New Orleans. "It will keep us from going out of business after Katrina destroyed our office, supply shed, and the homes of all three of our workers." Now Dick Cheney threatens to take that bid away.

The Katrina contracts were awarded by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers and Federal Emergency Management Agency as part of a relief effort expected to top $100 billion. The awards, which so far include contracts to such worthy companies as Bechtel, Haliburthon, KBR (a Haliburton subsidiary), and California's Fluor Corporation, will help stimulate the economy, according to a Bush economic advisor. Whoever is in charge of FEMA this week said that these contracts were never meant to be biased toward benefiting legitimate and developing Louisiana businesses and that the matter would be looked into before further work with the pumps would be allowed.




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