Livingston Out Loud: who says dissension, discussion, and dysfunction can't be fun?

So strong is the desire of many newcomers to be just like real Montanans that a new scam is raking in thousands of dollars. A new institute promising to help "Nontanans look like, behave like, speak like, and pass as, Montana natives" seemed legitimate at first. But those who bought the correspondence course from the Mofessional Institute quickly found out that the school's promise to make them into "professional Montanans" did not hold up.

The alleged curriculum offered courses priced at hundreds of dollars. One such course, "Laugh Like A Lutheran, Look Like A Cowboy," included an interactive CD-ROM with language lessons, fashion tips, and even cooking tips like "Making Really Weak Coffee: the secret is lots of water!".

The Mofessional Institute seemed legitimate at first in spite of the use of way too many fonts in their promotional materials (below).

Mofessional promo

One man who preferred to remain anonymous expressed both outrage and shame at being taken in by the scheme. "I could kick myself. The free chewing tobacco made me sick, and I should have known that Lutherans don't laugh. Also the suspenders and hunting cap looked fake to me."

Some of those who enrolled spent an extra $750 on the specially offered "MOFLEX," an exercise machine that was supposed to "make a MOntanan outta you" and "put calluses on your hands and bronc marks on your butt." Buyers reported that the machine's Barbed Wire Attachment cut their hands to ribbons and the Boot Burnishing Attachment broke foot bones.

News shorts or briefs (which do you prefer?)
UC Bozeman? The University of California is considering a land purchase in the Bozeman area with the hope of establishing its eleventh campus there. UC President Robert Dynes is a native of Ontario, Canada, and that has equipped him to think globally about the University's future. But the real drive behind the decision comes from the fact that Bozeman is "becoming more like California, especially Santa Cruz and Berkeley, than California itself," Dynes wrote in an email to the Board of Regents. Many find the comparison flattering since UC Berkeley is the flagship of California's public university system. During preliminary investigations of Bozeman, the University's development team noted several factors that made Bozeman a logical "new Berkeley." Among those were the large population of Californians in the area, the driving habits of Bozeman motorists ("very Californian," according to the report), and the youthful population of outdoors enthusiasts with "the right level of hubris about its sporting and academic prowess." Some Bozeman factors had to be translated from their cultural variations. For example, there are no Birkenstock stores, whereas in Berkeley there is one every two blocks. Although Schnee's in downtown Bozeman does carry the brand, the nearest Birkenstock specialty stores are in Missoula and Boise, Idaho, 180 and 300 miles away respectively. But investigators quickly realized that the Bozeman area has something that Berkeley only dreams of, namely rivers and streams, and plenty of them. They plugged Teva sales into their model and realized that Bozeman is, in fact, a sandal-wearing town. Another problem surfaced when UC discovered that Bozeman doesn't have a vegetarian restaurant or a Lesbian rock group. "But we can certainly encourage and support the development of those things," said Dynes. The UC system also runs scientific research laboratories, including the Lawrence Livermore Lab which pursues cutting-edge science and engineering in the interest of national security. There is a chance that UC will also bring this aspect of its charter to the region with a possible Lawrence Livingston Lab on the Park County side of the Bozeman Pass, or even in downtown Livingston. Livingston has miles of unused second story space in the downtown area that could be a logical choice for things like particle accelerators that require long distances of empty space. Combining these unused upstairs spaces with innovative construction, including a bridge across Callender Street, could create the needed distance. Investigators also cited Livingston's well-known "live and let live" attitude as a a factor since public protests have sometimes marred the university's ability to pursue questionable projects.	Caveat emptor So strong is the desire of many newcomers to be just like real Montanans that a new scam is raking in thousands of dollars. A new institute promising to help "Nontanans look like, behave like, speak like, and pass as, Montana natives" seemed legitimate at first. But those who bought the correspondence course from the Mofessional Institute quickly found out that the school's promise to make them into "professional Montanans" did not hold up. The alleged curriculum offered courses priced at hundreds of dollars. One such course, "Laugh Like A Lutheran, Look Like A Cowboy," included an interactive CD-ROM with language lessons, fashion tips, and even cooking tips like "Making Really Weak Coffee: the secret is lots of water!". The Mofessional Institute seemed legitimate at first in spite of the use of way too many fonts in their promotional materials (below). One man who preferred to remain anonymous expressed both outrage and shame at being taken in by the scheme. "I could kick myself. The free chewing tobacco made me sick, and I should have known that Lutherans don't laugh. Also the suspenders and hunting cap looked fake to me." Some of those who enrolled spent an extra $750 on the specially offered "MOFLEX," an exercise machine that was supposed to "make a MOntanan outta you" and "put calluses on your hands and bronc marks on your butt." Buyers reported that the machine's Barbed Wire Attachment cut their hands to ribbons and the Boot Burnishing Attachment broke foot bones.