Montana millionaire buys trophy health insurance policy
May 11, 2008 | Filed Under LOL Feature Stories (satire), Blog | Leave a Comment
On this spring day in mid-May, as the sun begins to melt the snow on either side of a winding private road in Paradise Valley, Montana millionaire Slade Cogwell has agreed to let us inside his palatial health insurance policy. It’s a view that most Montanans would envy, and not too far from this trophy policy an altogether different scene unfolds. In a trailer park off Highway 89, Mary Grey is changing the bandages on her husband Don’s near-crippling leg wound, suffered when Don fell from the roof of their outhouse as he attempted to reattach the roof after it was blown off by the wind.
No such triage afflicts the Cogwell home as we park under the massive log portico and are greeted by Slade himself. He is at the door faster than you can say “Accidental Death and Dismemberment Supplemental Insurance,” and eager to show off the policy he bought with the executive compensation package he received when he left Bear-Stearns.
Slade decides to start our tour with his $2 copay clause, and we have to admit we are immediately impressed. No one could miss the elegance and scope of this part of his McPlan. But not even this entry to his policy could prepare us for what lies within. Full dental coverage! Four bitewing x-rays, periodontal scaling and root planing, and gingivectomies grace this part of Slade’s plan. For sheer opulence, this seems impossible to top. And then we see that Slade has coverage for all emergency room fees and a vision package with free Lasik procedures and non-prescription sunglass coverage. No wonder Slade has a perfect set of teeth and 42 pairs of sunglasses!
[Cogwell home interior at right: We thought the McMansion was swank until we saw the Cogwell’s health McPlan. Their McPlan dwarfs every other health care structure in the neighborhood.]
Who could help but feel a twinge of envy? In fact, if we had health insurance we could be sick with envy. The Grey family isn’t envious either. They can’t afford it.
Don Grey is 48, and because of his age and a brief asthma attack in 1965, his health insurance would cost $4365 a month with a $7500 deductible. So when he fell from that outhouse roof, he and Mary opted for homegrown care. Said Mary, “Well, we keep some old fishin’ line around–never know when that might come in handy–so I stitched up the leg 
as best I could.” Then she refinanced their home, and with the proceeds bought some Bacteen, and with what was left, replaced the hammer Don dropped into the old one-seater when he fell.
[At left. Don and Mary Grey’s home. The equity came in handy when Don fell from the outhouse roof.]
The Greys, who are the kind of fine folks Hillary Rodham Clinton would call “hard-working white Americans with really dangerous pre-existing conditions,” can take some comfort in knowing that they are not alone when health problems arise. Nearly 170,000 Montanan’s don’t have health insurance either.
Log home image from http://log-homes.thefuntimesguide.com/ Seriously: http://www.missoulian.com/articles/2008/04/09/news/mtregional/news07.txt
The Blokes Highway 89 Tour on YouTube
May 7, 2008 | Filed Under Images of Livingston, Events, Around town | Leave a Comment
A video of selected photos from The Blokes Highway 89 Tour: “Put A Light in Every Country Window” is up on YouTube.
See the Tour group photograph.
More about the tour on ArtsMontana.com.
Invitation to Republicans and Independents who support Obama
May 2, 2008 | Filed Under Election 2008, Around town | Leave a Comment
Here is an event announcement from Liz Blavastsky and friends inviting area Republicans for Obama and Independents for Obama to an evening of conversation and refreshments on Monday evening, May 12th:
TO ALL MONTANA REPUBLICANS AND INDEPENDENTS DISILLUSIONED BY GEORGE W. BUSH
Please join us at the home of Dr. Liz Blavastsky on Monday evening, May 12th, at 7 P.M to discuss ways in which Republicans and Independents for Senator Barack Obama can help his campaign in Park County.
This invitation is also open to anyone who voted for George W. Bush in either election and who is feeling remorseful. You are not alone.
Refreshments and conversation: 208 South 7th Street, Livingston. May 12 at 7:00 P.M.
For information call Colin Davis at 222 3277, or call 222 7040.
To sign up, visit the BarackObama.com Events page for this event.
I’m thinkming that the undecided would enjoy this opportunity, too!