Liberal agenda found at Livingston cafe
December 15, 2008 | Filed Under LOL News Shorts or Briefs? (satire) | No Responses
Everyone has heard about the Liberal agenda, most recently in the past election year, as the right wing’s intellectual arm–Rush Limbaugh, Pat Buchanan, Sarah Palin–sought to frighten voters into denying Barack Obama the presidency and Congress its progressive majority. But very few have seen it.
But now a customer at a Livingston, Montana cafe can rightly claim that there is a very real Liberal agenda. He has seen it for himself. “Oh, it exists alright,” said Coleman Pendergrass over morning coffee at Pinky’s Cafe yesterday. “Two days ago, I was having me a Breakfast Gordito with extra ham at the counter when I noticed a slip of paper sticking out from underneath the edge of the counter. I was pretty surprised when I opened it up and saw what looked like a shopping list, except there was no beans or beer on that list, just stuff like ‘Save the black-footed ferret; re-read Constitution and find more ways to apply it; support Adam and Steve; find new ways to praise Fidel Castro especially now that he is really, really old; find new ways to praise Ronald Reagan, especially now that he is really, really dead; and order more Chardonnay and cilantro for the weekend study group.’”
Historians and other researchers have not yet had the chance to study the document, but are intrigued by the mix of items both old and new.
Meanwhile, the FBI, called in by local police to investigate the document, is trying to determine if there is any relationship to the Homosexual agenda found last month in a Beverly Hills bistro.
This just in: Right wing intellectual arm found in Greenville, North Carolina dumpster. Police have no leads on how or why this odd body part was left in the garbage behind a WalMart.
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